Fathers and families

The late great Paul Harvey enjoyed pointing out the obvious on his daily radio broadcasts. For instance he once reported there was one day of the year when most of the long-distance phone calls were made—Mother’s Day. The day with the most collect longdistance calls was Father’s Day!

I heard once a preacher observe that the mother is considered a family’s emotional hub, whereas the father serves as its security hub. Without a doubt, the family with all its members playing their proper roles serves as the bedrock of any society! Without solid and intact families a nation crumbles. Therefore, it’s tragic that today in the U.S. divorces occur in 40 percent of all first time marriages, in 60 percent of second marriages and in 73 percent of third marriages.

Meanwhile, the CDC reports that 48 percent of first born children and 41 percent of all babies are born to unmarried mothers. In 2022 the Census Bureau reported that more than 18 million children in our country are fatherless. Furthermore, 25 percent of all youth in the country live without their dads in the home. That makes our nation No.1 in the world in fatherless families. No wonder our society is falling apart at the seams!

The results of these fractured families are disastrous! For instance, 85 percent of children and teens have behavioral disorders and 70 percent of adolescent patients in drug and alcohol treatment centers are from fatherless homes. Children from fatherless homes are five times more likely to live in poverty and nine times more likely to drop out of school.

In addition, 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children come from homes without dads.

There is a clear reason why God says, “I hate divorce!”

(Malachi 2:16) That’s because it tears at the very fabric of our culture and even our economy.

Divorce is costly to our nation.

All things considered, divorces cost us $112 billion every year.

That’s $70.1 billion nationally, $33.3 billion to the states and $8.5 billion among local communities. Each divorce costs the taxpayers well over $30,000.

Conversely, men doing things in their proper order has a positive economic impact on the family unit. A study by the Heritage Foundation as reported by Dr.

Ben Carson showed that in order to keep the odds of being in poverty below 2 percent, a person should (in this order) graduate from high school, get married and wait to have children until you are married.

Meanwhile our popular culture is no friend to the nuclear family. Look at the ceaseless bombardment against the traditional family structure in our media. Nearly every TV show and movie depicts the father as a bumbling idiot. We have woefully devolved from the days of “Father Knows Best” and “The Andy Griffith Show.” (Kids, ask your grandparents about those!)

But we would be foolish to place the blame entirely at the feet of society in general.

Dads need to step up and face the responsibility we have to our families! I read an alarming statistic a while back that said the average daily amount of time a father spends one-onone with his child is a mere 37 seconds. Hugging one’s child is important, but asking questions is better. As Hilde Bigelow put it in rhyme, “My heart is happy, my mind is free, I had a father who talked with me.”

The father sets the course for the family, whether he intends to or not. Consider a study done by the George Barna Group which showed that if the mother in a family comes to faith there is a 16 percent chance the rest of the family will come to faith as well. If one of the children finds faith in Christ, the chances increase to 18 percent. But, if the father finds faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the odds of the rest of the family following in faith are 97 percent. God put the father as the lead “sled dog” to guide the family.

We all know the natural differences between the sexes bring about tension and challenges.

(I believe God designed it that way so we would seek His help!) Consider these statistics: although the overall divorce rate in America is 50 percent—the highest among industrialized countries—when the couple is actively involved in their church only one in 40 marriages ends in divorce. That’s only 2.5 percent.

But, when both are involved in church and both engage in daily Bible devotions, their divorce rate is a minuscule one in 400!

Of those who go to counselors seeking help with their marriages and broken lives, it is reported the overriding root problem is an unforgiving spirit.

We would be happier and more mentally healthy if we would remember and apply the words of William Arthur Ward, who said “We are most like animals when we kill; most like men when we judge and most like God when we forgive!”

Since even before the “War on Poverty” in the 1960s, the government has been throwing money at trying to solve the nation’s social ills, but the government cannot fix the underlying problem of broken families. That will take men stepping up to their responsibility in the home and in society.

Most men do not finish the race well in life, but those who do often have two ingredients present in their lives. The first is an older male mentor— someone who has walked the same path one or two generations before who can help identify the pitfalls along the way.

Secondly, they have a peer or a group of them who can help shoulder the burden of life’s struggles—someone you can be brutally honest with concerning your victories and defeats.

On this Father’s Day 2024, in whatever stage of life you are in sir, consider filling one of those spots for another man in your world and do your part to bring about the healing of the nation’s families. Remember, as goes the family, so goes the nation!

Loren Lippincott represents Legislative District 34 in the Nebraska State Senate. Read his column in the Nance County Journal.